Concerts in the Park

Summer means many things to many people. There's swimming, road trips, barbeques, fireworks, and for most teachers and students, a much needed break. For over a decade, summer has also meant one very important thing to me: Friday Night Concerts in the Park. I attend a few different CIP shows every summer.


I believe I first started attending CIP in 1999. That was the year I really got into local music scene.

At that time, these Friday Night Concerts were a big deal. This was before the days of Myspace and Facebook. Bands really worked their butts off promoting their appearances, enlisting the help of street teams and even sending out reminders via snail mail.

Every Friday night, by the time the headlining band struck its first chord, the area in front of the stage at Cesar Chavez Plaza would be packed with loyal fans and those just wanting to be in on the action. Standing against the gate separating the crowd from the bands on the cement stage, you could feel the energy. It was something special.

That "specialness" remained for years, but I noticed it tapering off the last few years. At first I thought maybe it was me. Maybe because I was older and had been to countless shows for over a decade, the excitement just wasn't there for me.

But it wasn't just me. My husband, who has been attending CIP since 2004, also noticed it. And it wasn't just that the crowds were smaller—which they were—it was that those Friday nights just didn't seem to be that big of a deal anymore. I noticed bands didn't promote them like they used to. The crowd just didn't react the same. The area in front of the stage was often depressingly empty.

The shows had become commonplace. Whether it was lack of promoting on the bands' end, people tired of seeing the same bands (a common complaint, although one I don't always think was justified) or maybe the fact that the scene seems far more fragmented (and with less of a good pop rock presence) than in my youth, I don't know. I just knew something had changed.

This year, a big drama-filled change occurred, and it's turned out to be a huge change for the better.

Under new leadership, the Friday Night Concerts in the Park series is back to its old glory. The park is packed on Friday nights (breaking records, even), but more than that, the park is buzzing with that energy you only experience at a great live show.

This is not to take away from what Jerry Perry did for CIP, because he did amazing things for it for many years. I wouldn't look back so fondly on those shows of years past if it wasn't for Perry's hard work behind the scenes.

This is to give credit where credit is due. So props (yea, I said props) to Play Big Sacramento. Say what you will about the name and the individuals on the panel, but as a group, they've breathed much needed life into CIP.


I've loved the shows I've attended thus far and can't wait to make the trek in freeway traffic for more. (OK, I could do without the traffic to the 5 p.m. start time.)

Here's some of my favorite "crappy cell phone" pics this year.

I make Aaron take a photo like this at every CIP. This was during The Infamous Swanks in May.

A disabled (and maybe homeless) man gave me this pinwheel during The Nickel Slots' set in May. I gave it to a kid.

7 Seconds inspired circle pits for people of all ages in June.

I dub this one, 'The cutest circle pit, eva!"

Aaron and me during 7 Seconds, one day before our fifth wedding anniversary.

Justice for Trayvon Martin

On Thusday, I marched for justice in the Trayvon Martin case.

Justice. That's all I want.

In my opinion, George Zimmerman should be arrested and tried for his actions in Martin's death. What he should be charged with, I can't say. He may be guilty of manslaughter; he may even be guilty of a hate crime. And because of all his previous 911 calls for things that seem insane to me, I think his sanity should be evaluated by a state-appointed psychiatrist.

But, I don't have all the facts. No one does right now. And as much I have disgust for the man I heard using a racial slur on the 911 tape -- who by his own admission, followed and killed an unarmed teenager -- he should not be judged by public opinion, especially when there's still so many questions left unanswered.

That's the problem with how this case is being played out. Bits and pieces of evidence become public and people jump to judgements. A lot of the time, the "evidence" isn't evidence, at all. It's an anonymous witness or Zimmerman's father (who wasn't even there that night). It's a picture of Martin that turns out not to be Martin, as if how he once posed in a picture has any shred of relevance to his terrible death.

I read the comments to news stories. People comment on hearsay as if it's undisputed fact. People use the assault on Martin's reputation as justification for his death. People are cruel, ignorant and biased. And my gosh, our country is racist.

If and when this case actually goes to trial, I imagine the lawyers will have a hard time finding jurors who haven't formed opinions on Zimmerman's guilt or innocence. Most of those opinions will be based on inaccurate information.

As a journalist, I know that despite my obsessive following of this story and my knowledge of what information reported is fact, what is conjecture and what is just outright misinformation from unreliable sources, I still only have a small part of the whole story.

That's why I marched for Trayvon Martin. I want justice to be done -- justice that this case will go to trial and Zimmerman's guilt or innocence will be decided by the legal system, and the legal system alone.

Gathering for Trayvon Martin at William Land Park in Sacramento, California on March 29, 2012

 

Recommended reads: What is known, what isn't about Trayvon Martin's death via Miami Herald

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2012/04/01/4381721/marcos-breton-a-hoodie-didnt-kill.html#storylink=misearch#storylink=cpy

Marcos Breton: A hoodie didn't kill Trayvon Martin; Zimmerman's gun did via Sacramento Bee

Whatever Happened to the Customer is Always Right?

At a time when people are tightening their belts like never before because the economy, for lack of a better word, sucks, businesses and service people should be going out of their way to please the customer, and to take heed not to offend the customer. Lately, I've noticed the reverse.

Take, for example, last night.

Husband and I are big fans of the Applebee's chain. They have this queso blanco dip that is too die for. (If you are a normal red-blooded American that likes spice and cheese, that is.)

We ventured to the Rancho Cordova location because we had been out shopping in the Sunrise area. We normally dine at the Arden location. So begins my story:

Our waitress greets us shortly after we sit down and asks, "Can I start you off with some drinks?"

I reply, "Water." And she replies, "Two waters, then?" Aaron nods.

Waitress leaves the table and I notice a flyer saying if your server does not offer you a Corona or margarita, you get a coupon for a free appetizer on your next visit. I point it out to Aaron, but it is too early to get excited over a free deal.

We settle on the Ultimate Trio, picking the three appetizers of Wonton Tacos, Steak Quesadilla Towers and the said Spicy Queso Blanco. Waitress takes our order, and to my delight, she still doesn’t offer the alcoholic drinks.

Aaron comments, "Maybe she doesn't think we look old enough to drink?" I laugh. We're only 27 and 30, going on 31, after all.

Everything is going well. We’re surprised by the amount of food, and I discover I love Wonton Tacos, made with "zesty pulled pork ... stuffed in crispy wonton shells and topped with crunchy Asian slaw with cilantro." Yum!

Several times our waitress comes by asking if we were ready for dessert, but we are both so stuffed, we can’t decide. The lure of dessert at $1.99 is too much for Aaron, so he talks me into ordering two Strawberry Cheesecake Shooters, promising he’ll help finish mine because I am oh-so-full. (What a sacrifice on his part.)

As Aaron's finishing off my shooter, the bill comes. We notice the waitress billed us for three appetizers at the happy hour price instead of the Ultimate Trio price, which is cheaper. We point this out and she replies, "Oh! You wanted the trio!?!" 

Yes, that's what we ordered when Aaron said, "We're going to have the Ultimate Trio" and pointed to it on the menu and made our three choices.

Waitress leaves to correct the bill, and I (think I) overhear someone (her manager?) telling her that she actually served us three separate appetizers instead of the Trio. This would make sense, considering the large portions. But, I can't be sure that's what I heard or if that's what happened. 

Waitress brings back the corrected the bill, and I show her the flyer for the free appetizer and say with a smile, "So, do we get this because you didn't offer us one?" 

"I did! It's the first thing I do at every table." 

Aaron and I look at each other confused. No, she didn't.

"I offer every table a margarita. It's the first thing I do because we get in trouble if we don't. Maybe you didn't hear me."

“Uh, no we didn't hear you ... ”

“Yes, because we get in BIG trouble if we don't. I make it a point because we get in BIG trouble if we don't.”

We laugh awkwardly. "Uh, we didn't hear it." 

I'm now thinking, Wow. You can't just admit your mistake? You have to make us feel bad for you because you didn't do your job, so you're making us the bad guys if we push the matter? 

When she comes back with our card, she hesitantly asks, "So did you want the appetizer? Did you want one right now?" 

"Well, we're full ..." (Thinking, the flyer says it's a voucher for your next visit ...)

She reiterates for the billionth time how it's the first thing she asks and how they get in trouble if they don't, so we finally let it go. 

Aaron tabulates the tip for our unprofessional waitress, because again, if we don't leave the minimum standard tip, we're the bad guys, even though my husband doesn't have a job and I'm self-employed and underpaid, we're still expected to leave a tip for a job poorly done.

---

I notice this just about every time I go out to eat. The servers don't work for their tips. They expect it. And when they make a mistake, they don't own up to it. I don't know if it's Restaurant Theory 101, but it's like they've been trained to say, "Oh, you wanted ... " instead of "Oh, you ordered ..."  

Maybe it's human nature to use that dissociative language, but it pisses me off. Maybe next time I should reply, "Yes I did WANT that because THAT'S what I ORDERED, BITCH!" (OK, so maybe I'll leave off the bitch part.)

What happened to the customer is always right? 

And what happened to the Applebee's manager or assistant manager coming by to check on the meal and make sure the server made the promoted offer?

Applebee's put us in the awkward situation in the first place by making it our responsibility to bring it up, and then our waitress made the situation worse. That's a sure way to lose customers. And that location certainly lost our business.

I just wanted my freakin' free appetizer. I didn't know my meal was going to come with a guilt trip for asking what I was entitled to. 

Update: After complaining online, the manager called me, apologized for the waitress' behavior, and noted that waitress no longer worked there. The manager also sent me coupons for free appetizers/desserts. I am satisfied with the way the manager handled the situation. She was very professional.

Back, and Happy to Boot

You probably thought I forgot all about my blog. This isn't true. Blogging crosses my mind all the time, but I'm just so busy, I have a really hard time taking time out to blog when it's time I could spend writing another article for pay I always need. 

Being a freelance writer is tough; it's even tougher when you're the breadwinner with bills to pay and five mouths to feed. (Aaron and I have a dog, a cat and HE has a snake).

But, I haven't crashed yet from my day of cleaning, bill-paying and writing, so here I am.

I'm in an excellent mood thanks to the good news from the past few days: Obama and Seth Myers roasted Donald Trump at the White House Correspondent's Dinner; U.S. forces killed Osama bin Laden, and the Kings are staying in Sac, at least for one more season. All of the above makes me very happy.

I know some people love Obama, some hate him, many are disappointed, blah, blah, blah. Can we all just agree that Donald Trump is a douchebag and it was awesome to watch him squirm in his chair?  

As a person of faith who is a pacifist at heart, I would have prefered that we captured and tried Osama bin Laden, but I'm a realist when it comes to the world, especially war, so I leave you with this:

I don't care if you've seen it a million times on Facebook. It's funny. If you can't laugh at that, it's time to pull the partisan stick out of your butt and lighten up.

Seriously, Adults? Seriously!?!

(promotional image)

Nina is judging you for giggling through her intimate moments.

I don't go to the movies very often. My husband and I just don't have that kind of money. We used to go to the drive-ins every so often, but currently don't have the right kind of fully-functioning vehicle for that. (Long story.)

For Valentine's Day, we went to a matinee of Black Swan, a film I've been dying to see long before its release date.

I know when Black Swan first came out, a lot of people hadn't heard of it and didn't really know that it's a twisted psychological thriller and not some sweet, happy film about Swan Lake. Now that Natalie Portman has picked up just about every best actress award, and the film's been getting all kinds of buzz, including a Best Picture Oscar nom., I think the general public is better informed. At the very least, people sitting their butts down in the theater to watch Black Swan should know it's an adult movie.

Imagine my surprise when I hear a baby start to cry not five minutes into the film. Seriously? You brought a baby to the theater, and to Black Swan, no less? And, on Valentine's Day? Seriously? Bringing a baby to the theater shouldn't be allowed for ANY film (unless it's one of those mommy and me specials), but you had to bring a baby into an intense psycho drama? Seriously?

As if the baby wasn't bad enough, the adults in the theater giggled during the sex scenes and made various noises that implied, "We're too immature to watch these scenes without acting like 13-year-old school kids." Seriously, adults? Seriously? If you had read anything about the movie, you KNEW those scenes were coming, and you still couldn't just shut up and watch? You had to take the rest of us out of the movie with your childish behavior? Seriously?

I need to stop going to the theater, I think. I've had far worse experiences, and I still loved every minute of the movie (even when it made me cringe and literally cover my face with my hands), but I really expected more of the adults who would choose to see the very dark, artsy and unromantic Black Swan on Valentine's Day. I guess by expecting people to behave like adults and have a little common courtesy for others, I just expect far too much.

Digging Deeper Into Digital TV Delay

Today many Americans are outraged that the U.S. House of Representatives delayed the switch to digital television until June, giving the unprepared 6.5 million households more time make sure their TVs are digital ready. Those upset about the delay think that because televisions stations have been airing commercials about the switch for a year, everyone should be prepared. "You'd have to be living under a rock to have never heard of the switch." Conservatives and liberals alike think that Americans who aren't ready don't understand the concept of personal responsibility. On the surface, this argument could almost tread water until it bumps into a deeper analysis and drowns to the bottom of the ocean like the Titanic.

I knew all about the switch to digital. Like many Americans, I'm sick of the digital transition commercials. Also like many Americans, I had cable. I was covered. Then less than a week ago, I got the nightmare call from my husband: his company would close it doors on March 30th. Insert panic and immediate budget sacrifices. Goodbye cable TV and perfect reception. Hello waiting list for government rebates on converter boxes. My household is hardly the only one having to tighten the budget belt.

The national unemployment rate is at a staggering high and continues to grow. In California, the unemployment rate is 9.3 percent, and the unemployment fund is running dry. More and more businesses close down every day, and those that stay open are laying offing workers to stay afloat. Many workers who have escaped layoffs are likely to see their hours cut, if they haven't already experienced a significantly reduced schedule. I don't have to Google the news to find examples. I see it firsthand with friends and family.

Layoffs in the media industry have been especially tough. I'm no longer surprised when another friend from college gets laid off from the news outlet they worked for. Unemployment must be filled with recent college grads with journalism or communications degrees. My best friend was recently laid off from her job with a local library. She too has a college degree. My stepfather has seen his hours cut with Safeway. He is working part-time probably for the first time in his adult life.

With the economy in such dismal state, many Americans are having to make sacrifices and cut the fat wherever possible. Doesn't it then follow that so many households are unprepared for the switch to digital TV because they were prepared until they found themselves unemployed or underemployed and cable was turned off or canceled? When it comes down to paying the mortgage or paying for cable TV, the decision is not that hard to make. Additionally, the price for cable has recently taken a pretty steep jump. For the last five years, I've always paid $25 to $30 for cable service. The same cable service I was subscribed to for $30 just two months ago has gone up to $57 before tax. Even if my husband wasn't losing his job, paying $27 more for the same service would be more than we could swing. That's an increase of over $300 a year!

I'm sure there are individuals out there who waited until the last minute to sign up for a converter box rebate when they needed one all along. That fraction can be blamed for "lacking personal responsibility." I'm not sticking up for that group. I'm sticking up for the growing number of Americans, including myself, who were prepared until the failing economy hit too close to home and sacrifices had to be made. My thanks to President Obama and the U.S. House of Representatives for understanding our situation.

Marriage, Church and State

"Today in 1893 U.S. President Benjamin Harrison declared full amnesty for Mormon polygamists. Is it the government's place to define which marriages are valid and which are not?" ~ Livejournal.com Writer's Block Prompt

"The right to marry whoever one wishes is an elementary human right compared to which "the right to attend an integrated school, the right to sit where one pleases on a bus, the right to go into any hotel or recreation area or place of amusement, regardless of one's skin or color or race" are minor indeed. Even political rights, like the right to vote, and nearly all other rights enumerated in the Constitution, are secondary to the inalienable human rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence; and to this category the right to home and marriage unquestionably belongs."
~Hannah Arendt [Dissent, Winter 1959]

For legal reasons, it is the government's place to define which marriages are valid and which are not. A marriage is a legal contract between two consenting adults. The legal contract affords rights that are specific to married couples. But for most, the meaning of marriage is far more than a piece of paper signed by the couple, their witnesses and the officiant. Marriage is about love, commitment, and for many people, religious faith.

I only care that the government recognize my marriage for the legal benefits. My husband and I file joint taxes. As his spouse, I am added to my husband's medical insurance. As his wife, I am the beneficiary of his life insurance. If we have a child, we begin with the same equal rights to that child. Just because I gave birth to the child, I do not have any more legal rights to the child than my husband does. He doesn't have to prove he's the father or separately adopt the child. The child is automatically "ours." If my husband is in the hospital, which he has been once since we've been married, all I have to do is say, "I'm his wife" and I can visit him. I'm not asked for proof that I'm his wife. The words, "I'm his wife" come with power. The words, "I'm his girlfriend" or "I'm his life partner" or "I'm his domestic partner" do not have the same authority. The legal contract of a marriage gives me power. It gives our relationship validity and special rights under the law.

As important as the legal rights a marriage affords to me are, that is not why I got married. I married my husband because not only do I love him and feel he has the qualities I seek in a partner, but because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him as his wife. I wanted to live by the teachings of our Christian faith that explain what a marriage should be.

I wanted to put God first in our marriage, always.

I don't believe a couple need get married in a church or by a religious leader for their marriage to have God at the center or to have a religious marriage. God would be just as important in my marriage if I had gotten married in the woods, by a former teacher, just as my best friend and her husband did. Still, I chose to get married in a church.

My husband and I had both always dreamed of getting married in a beautiful church, so we payed through the nose to get married in Pioneer Congregation Church, the very first Christian church built in Sacramento. I had a very religious ceremony. There were prayers, scripture readings and even a blessing.
I was able to get married in a church because I was having a traditional heterosexual wedding. Before we could marry at Pioneer, we had to complete pre-marital counseling, which we were happy to do. The pastor, Reverend Jim Truesdale, warned us from the beginning that if he did not feel we should be getting married, he would refund our money and we would not be married in his church. We were fine with that. We understood that to get married in a church, especially one that we did not attend, we had to follow the church's rules and protocol for a wedding ceremony.

If we were a homosexual couple, I believe the church would have had every right to deny us a wedding in their church. Knowing the "open and affirming" beliefs of the church, I don't think a homosexual couple would be turned away from this more liberal church, but all the same, I believe the church would have the right to do so. A church should have the right to turn away any couple, whether heterosexual or homosexual, if the church feels the couple is in conflict with church's beliefs.

That's why I think there should be two forms of marriage. I believe everyone who wants to be married should have to go through the legal process of signing a contract recognized by the government. I do not believe the government has any right to discriminate based upon sexual orientation. Two consenting homosexual adults should have the same rights under the law as two heterosexual adults.

I believe the religious ceremony and marriage should be separate from the legal marriage. Churches should be able to discriminate freely based upon the beliefs of their faith. The marriage document issued by the church should be separate from the legal document issues by the government. If a couple has a religious wedding ceremony, whether it's Christian, Jewish, or Muslim, isn't their God then the final authority over that couple's union? How can the government recognize that which belongs to religious faith?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
~U.S. Constitution - Amendment 1

Happy marriages
begin when we marry the ones we love,
and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
~ Tom Mullen

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
~Bill Cosby

*Photography by Avessa Studios