Valentine's Day Shows

The following was originally written for a job opportunity and is being reprinted for readers of Resolution Road.

Do you get warm and fuzzy on Valentine's Day? Or do you get cold and bitter over the Hallmark holiday? Either way, Sacramento's got a local music show for you.

For those who want to give cupid the finger, pogo out your angst at the punk rock anti-love fest happening at the Java Lounge Friday the 13th. "Rock n Roll Threeway" bands, The Secretions, Ashtray, and Final Summation unite for this pre-Valentine's Day show, with special guests Smash the Glass. You don't have to be a dateless deviant to enjoy this show, but happy couples might want to watch their backs in the pit. The fun begins at 8 p.m. $5 gets you in.

If you want to spread the love on Valentine's Day, check out the UC Davis Children's Hospital Benefit Show at Club Retro. This show has a little bit for everyone with an eclectic group of artists from the metal-infused sounds of The Grumpy to the female-fronted alternative rock of Larisa Bryski. Man Automatic, Save and Continue, Tyler Weinrich, Steve Mahoney's Posse, For Steven and Fair Game also perform. Show starts early at 6:30 p.m., cost is $8.00.

Looking to combine local music with a romantic evening? Impress your date with fascinating fine art, tasty wine and cheese, live music and a walk underneath the stars at the Second Saturday Art Walk. Best of all, it's free. Live music by You Versus Me, From Soil to Sand, Chelsea Wolfe, and Ayla at the corner of 4th and F Street in West Sacramento. Check out 2nd-sat.com to map your rendezvous with the arts.

Digging Deeper Into Digital TV Delay

Today many Americans are outraged that the U.S. House of Representatives delayed the switch to digital television until June, giving the unprepared 6.5 million households more time make sure their TVs are digital ready. Those upset about the delay think that because televisions stations have been airing commercials about the switch for a year, everyone should be prepared. "You'd have to be living under a rock to have never heard of the switch." Conservatives and liberals alike think that Americans who aren't ready don't understand the concept of personal responsibility. On the surface, this argument could almost tread water until it bumps into a deeper analysis and drowns to the bottom of the ocean like the Titanic.

I knew all about the switch to digital. Like many Americans, I'm sick of the digital transition commercials. Also like many Americans, I had cable. I was covered. Then less than a week ago, I got the nightmare call from my husband: his company would close it doors on March 30th. Insert panic and immediate budget sacrifices. Goodbye cable TV and perfect reception. Hello waiting list for government rebates on converter boxes. My household is hardly the only one having to tighten the budget belt.

The national unemployment rate is at a staggering high and continues to grow. In California, the unemployment rate is 9.3 percent, and the unemployment fund is running dry. More and more businesses close down every day, and those that stay open are laying offing workers to stay afloat. Many workers who have escaped layoffs are likely to see their hours cut, if they haven't already experienced a significantly reduced schedule. I don't have to Google the news to find examples. I see it firsthand with friends and family.

Layoffs in the media industry have been especially tough. I'm no longer surprised when another friend from college gets laid off from the news outlet they worked for. Unemployment must be filled with recent college grads with journalism or communications degrees. My best friend was recently laid off from her job with a local library. She too has a college degree. My stepfather has seen his hours cut with Safeway. He is working part-time probably for the first time in his adult life.

With the economy in such dismal state, many Americans are having to make sacrifices and cut the fat wherever possible. Doesn't it then follow that so many households are unprepared for the switch to digital TV because they were prepared until they found themselves unemployed or underemployed and cable was turned off or canceled? When it comes down to paying the mortgage or paying for cable TV, the decision is not that hard to make. Additionally, the price for cable has recently taken a pretty steep jump. For the last five years, I've always paid $25 to $30 for cable service. The same cable service I was subscribed to for $30 just two months ago has gone up to $57 before tax. Even if my husband wasn't losing his job, paying $27 more for the same service would be more than we could swing. That's an increase of over $300 a year!

I'm sure there are individuals out there who waited until the last minute to sign up for a converter box rebate when they needed one all along. That fraction can be blamed for "lacking personal responsibility." I'm not sticking up for that group. I'm sticking up for the growing number of Americans, including myself, who were prepared until the failing economy hit too close to home and sacrifices had to be made. My thanks to President Obama and the U.S. House of Representatives for understanding our situation.

Competing Resolutions

Resolution Road was not my only new year's resolution. I always make more than one resolution; blogging just happened to be the resolution that I began as soon as the year started. I realize I have been neglecting this blog a bit in favor of another resolution: to lose at least 10 pounds by getting in shape (no fad diets). I procrastinated on this particular resolution because for me it was a very daunting challenge.

I've never had to lose weight before. In fact, I've spent most of my adult life trying to gain weight! At age 18, I was 5 feet, four inches, and probably weighed in at 100 pounds sopping weight. I was just always skinny. It's in my genes. My older brother is a sweater-wearing twig. I was always pretty content with my body, but then my doctors gave me a complex about it because they always suspected I had an eating disorder, which was the furthest thing from the truth. I've always naturally eaten like every doctor will tell you you're supposed to: small, frequent meals. I don't eat a lot at once, but I have to eat all day long because otherwise I get really bad low blood sugar. When I was 18 or 19, I even took a prescribed hormone to help increase my appetite to put on the pounds. I gained weight and also had a pretty strong allergic reaction which included rashes, hot flashes complete with horrible night sweats, and best of all, I skipped a period and had to deal with my mom accusing my virgin-self of being pregnant. That was a lot of fun.

It took moving out of my parent's home for me to gain weight without the help of drugs.

I grew up eating very healthy. My mom made almost everything from scratch, and I ate a home-cooked meal at the dinner table at least six nights a week. My mom covered all the food groups in her dinners, with usually two to three vegetable choices. I didn't even know there were such things as cake mixes until I was a teenager. The only food I was used to eating from a box was my favorite, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

I spent my teenage years in a household of seven, with a very limited food budget. It was always a fight for the last roll at dinner time, and food disappeared out of the cupboard almost as soon as it went in. I never had the option of eating much junk food, and I certainly never had the option to pig out on anything unless I wanted to be the jerk who ate two of something when there was only one of it to go around, and my obese stepbrother was happy to be the selfish jerk.

My eating habits changed at age 20 when I began buying my own groceries for my own apartment. Kraft Mac n Cheese, Pasta Roni, spaghetti with homemade sauce (my specialty), turkey dogs, Top Roman...these were my staples. I also started drinking whole milk instead of 1 percent. It took a little while, but I put on some weight and was happy about it.

When I went on birth control before my wedding, I put on a little more weight. As anyone can tell by my wedding pictures, I was still tiny, just a little more healthy looking. I've switched birth controls a few times, and every time, I've gained more weight. I was perfectly content with these weight gains, and my husband was thrilled that my always big booty had grown even larger, and I had more meat on my bones. It was a bit of a shock when I went from a size 5 to a size 7 pants, but I eventually adjusted and felt "ok" about the change.

This past winter I put on weight I am not ok with. In early fall I began feeling really ill all the time, with my main symptom being that I had even less energy than usual and was sleeping around 14 hours a night, and falling asleep in the middle of the day. I had a number of other symptoms, but the main point is that I couldn't work; I could barely do light housework. Walking from one end of my house to the other was about the most exercise my body got. Eventually, the only pants I owned that fit came with an elastic waistband.

I wanted to begin exercising as soon as the new year began, yet I couldn't find the will-power to start. In addition to being tired all of the time, I am in pain every day of my life. I have a horribly crooked spine that coupled with permanent damage from a car accident, causes horrible back pain. When I go to a new physical therapist, the first thing the therapist says upon examining my spine and feeling the tightness of my back and neck is, "Wow!" I'm also at the beginning of Osteoporosis, even though milk has always been my favorite drink, and while I was never forced to clean my plate, my grampa taught me at an early age to finish my milk. My body is in bad, bad shape. I get winded walking two flights of stairs. My body creaks and cracks all day long. I'm hypermobile, so that adds to the pain and the difficulty in safely exercising because my joints overextend. All of this made it easy for me to procrastinate on my resolution to lose weight.

Things changed at the end of January. First, I used Amazon.com money to order Richard Simmon's Sweatin' to the Oldies. I generally hate working out. The only exercise I like is gymnastics and swimming. I don't have access to a pool, and I'd probably kill myself if I tried to seriously get back into gymnastics. Sweatin' to the oldies seemed the most realistic option.

Second, after talking about it for weeks, my husband and I finally took a walk together around our neighborhood on the last Sunday in January. The very next day while my husband was at work, I took a walk on my own.

These two events led to my new devotion to exercise. My goal is to walk every other day, and on the days I don't walk, I do the exercise video, and everyday I work on looking a little less pregnant by doing sit-ups. So far, I am doing really well with this plan. I am completely surprised and proud that I have an exercise regiment. I even made myself a calender to follow. The Richard Simmons' video is exhausting and I've yet to make it all the way through maintaining the aerobic pace, but I manage to keep moving the entire time, and even being able to do that much shocks me.

I have skipped the video twice in lieu of working out on Wii Fit instead. I don't even own a Wii, but babysitting for family that does has its advantages. I absolutely love Wii Fit and I know if I had one, I would be completely devoted to it, contrary to the article I read today claiming no one sticks with it. (Yes, I thought the article was horribly slanted and poor journalism, but I think that about a lot of Yahoo articles.) I am the most competitive person ever, so exercising for the top score on a video game is ideal for me. I have overextended myself on the Wii and paid for it, but I better know my limits now.

I am very happy that since creating this plan 10 days ago, I have only missed one day of exercise, and that was the day I almost fell down from pain in my lower back. (I have to be more careful with the Wii Fit yoga. Now I think I understand why my rheumatologist didn't want me doing yoga.)

It feels so great to know that I'm actively working to shape up my body instead of just complaining about it. My husband is really proud of me, and that encourages me even more. He just tells me, "You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt."

Now I need to better balance my resolution to exercise with my resolution to write. My brain and body usually don't really wake up until around the time most people are going to bed, so I generally only have a limited window of when I can "function" and work on my resolutions. As of tomorrow I am canceling cable TV and Internet. I will be signing up for DSL service, but times are tough and cable TV is not a luxury we will be able to afford, especially with my husband's workplace closing in less than two months. Living without cable TV will definitely free up some time I could devote to writing. Hopefully I'll be back on this blog soon, with something the masses might find more interesting. Since this blog is a resolution, I felt it was important to discuss the other resolution that is competing for my free time.

My Hell: Customer Service

Hell is talking to a customer service department over the telephone. I think there are souls burning in Hell, with telephone in hand, trying to get some company to correct their bill or to send someone out to fix their cable. That's what hell would be for me, anyways.

I mean, really, is there anything more frustrating than dealing with customer service over the telephone? It doesn't seem to matter if I'm calling my cable TV and Internet company, Comcast, or if I'm calling Apria, the company my C-PAP machine is through. I even get a headache trying to talk to a real person about a student loan I have through Citibank.

I think cable TV companies like Comcast and Surewest are the worst. I hate them with a burning passion. They hire the most incompetent people I've ever come across.

My husband and I once got Surewest TV and Internet. About 30 minutes after our cable was professionally installed, our cable TV went out. I'm pretty good at hooking up electronics. So being the intelligent, electronic savvy girl I am, the first thing I do is I check to make sure there are no loose cables. I reset the cable box. I even unplug everything and wait for it to reboot. Of course none of these remedies work, so then the dreaded phone call to customer service takes place.

Has anyone ever called tech support and not been put on hold? Surewest takes the cake for wait-time. My husband and I once waited an hour in a half to talk to someone. I wish that was an exaggeration.

What happens after you finally are able to talk to a real person? They are almost always useless. The first thing they ask is, "Are you sure the cable receiver is plugged in?"

Now, I know how customer service generally works. They have a flow chart of questions they have to ask the customer. And I'm sure there are idiots out there who would call customer service when their cable is not even plugged in. But I do not belong in this group of idiots, and it's insulting to be asked these basic questions, especially when it's the third time I've called about the same problem.

After all us non-idiots go through the flowchart of questions and our cable is not fixed, we're usually offered an appointment time that is a four to six hour time block at least a week away, right?

The best part comes after you've made time in your schedule to be home for the four or six hour block of time and the technician never shows. That happened twice with Surewest.

Now, you would think a company would want to rectify their mistakes and offer some sort of compensation for the trouble they've caused? Hahahaha. That's a good one!

I did not have working cable TV with Surewest for over a month. I did have working cable in the bedroom, but not in the living room. From the day we signed up, the cable was out for a month. In this time, we had two no show appointments and two appointments where the guy was able to fix the problem for about 10 minutes, and within 30 minutes of his departure, the cable was again out.

With Surewest, we had a contract, but per the contract, the first 30 days were a trial period, and we were supposed to be able to cancel. We tried to cancel from the start because it was just unacceptable that we did not have cable TV and that every time we called, we were put on hold for average of 45 minutes to one hour. It took battling with Surewest for about two months, including countless hours on the phone and four scheduled home appointments, that Surewest finally let us cancel our cable TV. They would not let us out of our Internet part of the contract, but we were free of their cable non-service.

Next comes the "credits," right? Obviously since we did not have cable TV for over a month, we were not going to pay the bill. We received a bill in the mail with some of the credits posted to our account, but not all that was promised.

I've found that talking to the billing department is just as worse, if not worse, than talking to technical support. I am a pretty even-tempered, reasonable woman. The incompetence of Surewest's billing department had me yelling and shaking on the phone. After arguing with billing support that my bill was still not correct, I literally had to walk the moronic billing support guy through the math, step-by-step, to prove my point that they had not credited my bill properly. He was not able to do the very basic subtraction on his own.

If that's not ridiculous, I don't know what is.

Comcast is just as evil. I've had Comcast many different times. I despise them, but in the past, they were not as bad as Surewest, and their promotional rates can't be beat.

Whenever I've had had Comcast, I've signed up for a package where the cable TV installation is free, and I avoid the Internet set up fee by setting up the Internet myself. Every single time, when the bill comes in the mail, Comcast has charged me the set up fee. I think they do this to everyone in hopes that the customer won't notice or won't fight it. So, this leads to a phone call with the billing department. I can handle that. I've come to expect it when I sign up for Comcast.

When my husband and I moved into our first house in June, we signed up with Comcast for TV and Internet. The Geek-Squad guy came, hooked up the TV and left the modem and self-install kit for me to set up. I set it up like I have many times before. After going through the self-install process, a message on the computer pops up saying there has been an error, and to call 1-800-Comcast. I call. The guy on the phone is actually very nice and knows exactly what the problem is, but he cannot fix it because his tools are down. I understand that. I have to call back the next day. I am able to get this problem fixed, but I still do not have Internet. The guy on the phone has me check everything that I already know to check. Nothing is fixed, so he gives me an appointment for the very next day. Wow! That's good service...except, no one ever shows. No one shows for the next appointment, either.

I could go on and on detailing this horrid saga, but I'll save you the details. Comcast had failed to activate the line for my Internet, and had they had given me a bad coaxial cable. I figured all of this out on my own, but it took over a month from someone to come to my house and fix it.

Then came the battle to receive compensation for our troubles. This part got really bad. We were promised a phone call from a manager, which never happened. My husband was hung up on, not once, but twice. It took my husband contacting Comcast in writing for our bill to be properly credited and to receive an apology for all they put us through, which included shutting off our service twice while we were in dispute over the bill.

The jaw-dropping kicker with Comcast (other than being hung up on) was that we were calling them day and night trying to get our bill fixed before my husband went in for surgery. After his surgery, he wouldn't be able to talk for quite awhile, so we wanted to get it dealt with beforehand. The night before his surgery, our bill still had not been credited. My husband had his surgery, and we didn't bother calling Comcast until he was healed up. You know what the Comcast jerk said to him, "It's been too long since your last complaint. I can't do anything for you." (And then he hung up.)

We will be canceling our service before the end of the month. We signed up with them in June and it took until January for our bill to be properly credited.

But it's not just cable companies that put me through this hell. It's a universal thing in the world of customer service. I just had to write a dispute to a collection's company because Apria sent me to collections 10 days after I made my payment! Oh, Apria, how I loathe thee. Let me count thy ways:

Number One: You sent my monthly bill, which I had no idea existed, to an address I have not lived at for almost five years. You did this for six months, even though I was diligent in making sure the incorrect address was crossed off on my contract and my current address was filled in. I have the copy of my rental agreement proving it.

Number Two: When I finally got a bill in the mail at my residence (after receiving a phone call asking why I hadn't paid my bill), the bill had no explanation of the charges, and it was a rather large sum. You never sent me the original bill; you sent me the bill for the sixth or seventh month, which makes no sense when it's the first bill I've ever seen. Genius.

Number Three: When I contacted the billing department, I was put on hold for so long, that it took me several days to get through to an actual person because I only had so much time after work to sit on the phone.

Number Four: The first three people I talked to had no idea what they were talking about and were totally inept.

Number Five: When I finally talked to someone who could explain some of the charges, and understood my point that I shouldn't be held accountable for the total, especially all at once, since I had no idea I was being charged every month for six months for a product I stopped using within a month, I was told all I needed to do was send in ONE payment to get my account in better standing and avoid being sent to collections. EXCEPT, 10 days after your company received my not one, but two payments, you sent my account to a collection's agency.

And as a bonus, Number Six: You call my phone at all hours, most often in the morning when I'm sleeping, and when I miss the call, you do not leave a message. The only reason I know it's your company calling is that I googled the number and found a message board of people complaining that you are also harassing them.

Oh customer service, how I loathe thee.

My customer service nightmares go on and on. I spend so much of my time sitting on the phone trying to straighten bills out.

Stanford Sleep Disorders Center is another one high on my sh*t list. I never want to go back there, simply for the hell they put me through over billing and their repeated errors.

In brief, when Stanford called me to set up an appointment, they verified my address and insurance information. They had everything correct. When I went in for my appointment, they made a copy of my insurance card.

Fast forward to when I receive my first bill, not at the address they verified they had on file, but at my mother's address. This bill states that the insurance they have on file: California Healthy Families, says I am no longer eligible for benefits. Well, duh, of course I no longer have Healthy Families. That insurance is for low-income families with children. I had that insurance when I was a minor. I was 23 at this time and had private health insurance. They must have lost all of my information, looked me up in "the system," found my old address and my health insurance I had many years ago (as a minor!), and stupidly billed that.

So what's the next step, everybody? Make that dreaded phone call to correct the error. I give my correct address and insurance information, again, and am told they will bill my insurance and I will receive a new bill.

What actually happens? I receive another bill, at my current address, stating I do not have health insurance, my bill is past due, and was in risk of being sent to collections.

I went through this process over and over. After about the fourth or fifth time of being sent a bill stating I did not have insurance and they were going to send me to collections, I sent a very angry letter detailing their incompetence and explaining I was now sending them my insurance information for the fifth time, and then finally they billed my insurance.

Ahhhh! Just reliving those memories makes me want to scream! Who are these people? Where do they come from? How can they be so brainless? How much of my life have I wasted sitting on the phone waiting to talk to these imbeciles?

I'll share one more very brief story.

I had to take out a number of student loans to pay for college. I had my own personal life savings for college, and my mom helped out, but I still had loans. One of my loans is through Citibank.

I set up an account online to repay my Citibank loan. For some reason, the account says my login information is not correct, and my security answers are incorrect, which is quite frankly, impossible, and every time I try to log in, my account is locked and I'm prompted to call a number for help.

Since I opted to pay my bill online, I do not get a paper statement in the mail, and the only way I am able to pay my bill is by paying the minimum balance through the automated phone system. I always pay more than the minimum balance on a bill, even if it's just $5 more, so paying by phone is only used as a last resort.

I call the Citibank student loan number and listen to the menu options, but there is no option to get help with online login information and no option to talk to a live person. I have tried pushing every menu option available in hopes of getting a human being on the other end. I make sure to call during their business hours. I wrote Citibank an email and explained my situation. I explained very clearly that I cannot get a live person on the phone and need to talk to a live person. Their response? They tell me they cannot give me login information through email (I figured that) and they provide me with the same phone number I've been using and instruct me to call that number during business hours.

AHHHHH! It's Hell on earth.

R.I.P. Dear Jacket

This is an ode to my black jean jacket. I have finally accepted that it is gone and never coming back. I know I shouldn't care so much for an item of clothing, but I do.

I love clothes. My husband can't keep his clothes in our bedroom because my clothes take up the whole closet. And that's just shirts, dresses, skirts and pants. I have a five-drawer dresser full of bed shirts, shorts, more skirts, and my delicates. Then there's the hope chest full of pajama bottoms, sweats, and velour pants. Like I said, I love clothes.

I also love shopping. I relish in getting a great deal. I am the best when it comes to buying quality clothes at the most amazing price. I was recently at Gottschalks and picked out some clothes for my mom to buy me for my upcoming 25th birthday. I found the cutest blue and white polka dot sun dress for only $3. Yes, you read right, $3 at a nice department store. It's a true skill I have, this shopping I do.

I can still picture the day I met my jacket. For some time I had coveted a black Dickies jean jacket, but I wasn't willing to shell out $50 for a little jean jacket. I am thrifty to boot.

Then on a sunny May day in 2004, May 30th, to be exact, I went to the Sacramento Jazz Jubilee with my mother and brother. We've been going ever since I was in a stroller. We always enter the festivities through the Downtown Plaza mall. My mom and I often get distracted by the stores, driving my older brother insane. I stopped in at Copeland because I had $21 credit there. As soon as I walked in, I spotted a clearance rack. And there it was, just waiting for me to find: a Fox Racing brand black woman's jean jacket, size small! I tried it on. It was the perfect fit. In 2004, I was the tiniest little thing and this jacket was just made for my petite Audrey Hepburn like silhouette. Even better, it was marked down from $60 to just $30. With my $21 credit, I only had to shell out $9 for the perfect jacket. I was in love. I could care less that it wasn't Dickies brand.

I wore my jacket on so many cool summer nights. I believe I wore it on my first date with my husband that June. I decorated it with my collection of buttons of my favorite bands, movies, and cute quotes like, "Kiss me, I'm straight edge." Sometimes I safety-pinned patches of my favorite bands on the back, like The Clash and Anti-Flag. My little jean jacket was perfect for shows in the winter. I hate having to hold a heavy jacket when I'm trying to enjoy live music, so my lightweight jacket was ideal for the situation. I was wearing my jacket on June 19, 2005, when my husband proposed on the one year anniversary of our first date. A lot of memories are wrapped up in that jacket.

Whenever it came time to wash my jacket, I'd carefully remove all my buttons before tossing the jacket into the washing machine. After the jacket was again clean, I'd sit on the floor, with all my buttons spread out, making sure to put every button back on in its exact place. I am very particular about these things.

Then, I lost track of the jacket. The last I remember of it, I had set it aside to wash. This was at least a year ago. I remember searching for the jacket in the laundry and on top of the dryer in the garage of my duplex where I sometimes set aside clothes I had sorted. I didn't come across it then, but I figured it would show up soon enough. Then I remember starting the search over again this summer. I looked everywhere and it was still nowhere to be found. We moved in June, so I thought for sure it would show up then. It didn't, but I was too busy setting up a new house and working a relatively new job that I didn't have time to spend too much time worrying about this jacket I love. Last night I went in search, once more, of my little black jean jacket, and also my Adeline Records zip up hoodie. I found my sweatshirt, in a place I'd looked at least twice before. But still, no beloved jacket. I went through my husband's clothes, even searching his dirty laundry. I found my blue socks and red socks, but no black jacket.

It's forever lost. Hope is gone. I'm grieving for a jacket. It doesn't matter that I'm more than 20 pounds heavier than when I first bought the jacket and that it probably would no longer fit. I would have kept that jacket forever, for the memories. The pants or the shirts I wore on my first date or the night my husband proposed? Those aren't special. It was all about the jacket: The jacket I wore when the hot Sacramento days turned into the cool nights I spent at the park with my soul mate enjoying the simple thrill of being pushed on a swing while discussing our love for The Ramones.

I smiled so brightly wearing that jacket once I stopped hyperventilating and said, "Yes" to Aaron's marriage proposal.


The jacket was just right for window shopping at the mall with my best friends.



In college, I'd slip on the jacket to walk my dog outside my apartment complex before heading to bed for the night.


I wore that jacket to so many great shows. I specifically remember taking these pictures after Danny Secretion's birthday show in 2006.

Luckily I still have my buttons. I've lost many of them throughout the years, but I don't think there were any buttons on jacket when it disappeared from my life. But tonight I'm mourning for a jacket. At a time when I should be blogging about how inspired I was to see Barack Obama become the 44th president and what I hope to see accomplished in an Obama administration, I'm thinking about a jacket I found in a sports store on the way to the jazz festival.

Wherever you are little jacket, thanks for the memories. We had some good times together. I'll never forget you.

Movie Review: Milk

(The following contains spoilers if you are not familiar with Milk's story.)

Milk is the powerful, moving and real-life story of Harvey Milk's journey to become the first openly gay elected official in politics. Sean Penn plays Harvey Milk, and no surprise here, he immerses himself completely into the role. Penn becomes Milk in physical appearance, voice, mannerisms, and most importantly, in emotion: in the love Milk had for the opera, the pain he felt from losing lovers, the fear from death threats and in the passion Milk had for the gay rights cause.

The film follows Milk's life beginning at age 40 and ending with his brutal assassination eight years later. Harvey Milk tells his story as he sits alone in his kitchen, talking to a tape recorder. He wants his struggles and accomplishments recorded, in the event of his assassination.

Like the film, Milk's life really began at age 40. Before 40, Milk explains to his much younger partner, Scott Smith (James Franco), that he has done nothing of importance with his life.

Once Milk experiences discrimination, sees the negligence and brutality of the police, and tries to run a business in the Castro district of San Francisco, Milk becomes more politically aware. Milk starts his own gay business association, and soon he is a leader in the local gay community. Milk is a friendly, charismatic character with a flare for the dramatic. He can command an audience and make the young, hopelessly lost males fall in love with him. He loves to rescue people, and he loves being in a place of power.

Milk decides gays need one of their own in office, and that he is the person for the job. Milk runs three times for Board of Supervisors before he is finally elected, after a change in district lines. Along the way, Milk transforms from a pot smoking, long-haired hippie to a clean-cut, suit-wearing politician. Milk's boyfriend Scott supports "the movement," but takes issue with "the machine" of politics Milk is so wrapped up in. Milk campaigns and works day and night. The long hours take a toll on Scott, and later the new, and very needy boyfriend, Jack Lira (Diego Luna). The love interests of Milk's life play a key role in his story. He loses too many of them to suicide.

Milk couldn't have gotten elected without the help of a strong campaign team, led by the young, smartalec Cleve Jones, played by Emile Hersh. Hersh, Luna and Franco are all fantastic in their supporting roles.

Once in office, Milk works tirelessly to push through gay rights legislation and to oppose the efforts of the "Save our Children" campaign, which sought to remove all gay teachers and "gay supporters" from schools. Milk wins these battles, but makes an enemy in Board of Supervisors member Dan White played by Josh Brolin. White represents a Catholic, conservative neighborhood, not far from the Castro. White seeks Milk's support on the Board, and when Milk votes against him, White decides Milk is the enemy.

White's character and relationship with Milk are complex. White doesn't understand the homosexual lifestyle, but he doesn't really seem to be against gay rights, either. He would almost be Milk's friend if Milk hadn't voted against him early on. White seems to only vote against Milk for revenge, not on principle. Milk is friendly to White and even seems to have sympathy for the guy. White takes his job very seriously, but he can't make ends meat on it, and he never has the votes of his fellow board members.

White eventually resigns, but then after a suspicious meeting with police, has a change of heart. White is wound up tight and when Mayor Moscone will not give him the job back, he snaps. He sneaks into City Hall through a basement window to bypass the metal detectors. First he kills the mayor, and then sends five bullets into Milk.

The scene of Milk's assassination is heart-wrenching. It doesn't matter that you know it's coming. It hits you hard in the gut because you've spent the last hour in a half getting to know and care about this real-life character.

After Milk and Mayor Moscone are killed, a group of about 30,000 march in the streets. It's an awesome sight to see the streets of San Francisco filled with 30,000 candles in support of a man who stood for hope and civil rights. Words flash on the screen that explain how White claimed he was mentally incapacitated from eating too much junk food, "the Twinkie defense." He is sentenced to five to seven years for brutally killing two elected officials. He is out in five. It was an outrage then and it's an outrage now.

Milk left me both incredibly sad over Milk's death and also incredibly bewildered and enraged over White's fate. Although this film takes place 30 years ago, it is just as relevant today. The film shows how far the gay rights movement has come, but recent elections all over the United States remind us how far it still has to go.

Movie Reviews

The Devil Wears Prada was on TV the other day, so I watched it. I didn't have any expectations for it, and that was best. Ann Hathaway plays Andy, a recent college journalism grad whose looking for her first job. She lands the gig hundreds of girls would kill for, working as the second assistant to the famous Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), the editor-in-chief of Runway Magazine. Of course Andy is a serious journalist who could care less about fashion and has never even heard of Miranda. Andy gets off to a rough start and sticks out in the sea of Gucci, Prada and Versace like the polyester discount-store sweater on her back. Andy is mostly a fetch-dog for Miranda. All the real responsibilities fall to Emily, the first assistant.

Andy hates her job and especially her boss. She decides to stick with it because if she can survive one year under Miranda's manicured thumb, she can get a writing gig at any magazine. Through all this, Andy has a terrifically supportive, gorgeous boyfriend and a couple friends from college who envy her job. One day Andy realizes she hasn't been giving her all to the job and manages to fit her (gasp!) size six body into some of the zero to four-sized clothing in the Runway closet. Miranda notices the change and Andy receives more responsibility, all because she's traded in the clogs for some heels and a slight hairdo change.

Soon Andy is excelling at her job and becomes Miranda's number one go-to-gal. Back at home, Andy is missing dinners with her friends, and more importantly, neglecting that wonderful boyfriend of hers. Predictably, Andy gets sucked into the fashion world and becomes "one of them." Will Andy stay a Miranda clone or return to her true journalism roots? You'll have to watch to find out, or you could probably just guess and get it right. The story is tied up with a neat little bow, the most fashion-forward bow, of course.

Meryl Streep is her usual excellence in the film. She knows how to play a cold-hearted witch like no other. Ann Hathaway is just OK in my opinion. She makes Andy more clueless and whiny than I thought the part called for. My favorite character was the first assistant played by Emily Blunt. She's been killing herself for Miranda for years in hopes of moving up in the fashion world. She prides herself on starving her already stick-thin figure for Paris Fashion Week, and tries to act like she's cut off from all emotion, but she really puts her whole heart into her job, if only she ever got any credit. She was the only really interesting and funny character as far as I was concerned.

I wouldn't recommend this movie for most. Maybe if you're into high fashion, it's worth a whirl, but the movie just fell flat for me. It was OK for an evening on the couch when nothing else was on, but I definitely wouldn't have made time in my schedule for this film.


I know The Forgotten was a forgettable film for most, but I liked it well-enough for a lazy Saturday afternoon movie in bed. Tilly (Julianne Moore) remembers her son who died in a school bus accident, but as time passes, fewer and fewer people remember his existence. All evidence that he existed seems to have disappeared. Is Tilly crazy or is there something more sinister at play? That's the basic premise. Tilly teams up with the one other parent who remembers his daughter and Tilly's son, and they spend the film looking for their children while trying to escape the grasp of the agents who are following them.

The twist of the film really changes what genre the film belongs in, but I would ruin the film if I revealed this true genre. I was OK with the twist and the stretch of the imagination that comes with it, but I think a lot of viewers would feel cheated by the direction the film abruptly takes. I think the film was supposed to be suspenseful and eerie, but it's pretty light on both accounts. There's nothing extraordinary about the acting or the special effects or the direction of this film. It relies on the mystery of the children to carry it through. I believed from the beginning that Tilly was not crazy and there was a conspiracy involving the bus crash, so I had to watch to discover the truth. If that mystery alone does not intrigue you, this movie is probably not for you.


What She Knew is a Lifetime original movie. My husband and I actually have watched quite a few of these specific made-for-TV movies. The movies usually star pretty well-known, critically acclaimed actors, so they're generally fairly decent, even if the aim of every movie is to make you cry. I don't easily cry at movies, unless they involve animals, so I can watch these Lifetime movies without getting blubbery. I think most women watch them with a box of tissues at hand.

What She Knew stars Amber Tamblin as Stephanie, a 16-year-old who gives birth in a bathroom on a ski trip, leaves the baby in the bathroom stall, goes back on the slopes where she passes out and her secret is revealed. Stephanie claims she didn't know she was pregnant and that the baby was still-born. The air in the baby's lungs tells a different story. Tilda Swinton plays a forensic psychologist, also pregnant, investigating the case for the district attorney through interviews with Stephanie. The interviews are flashbacks beginning with the previous summer when Stephanie conceived and concluding with the birth in the bathroom stall. Timothy Hutton plays the psychologist's husband. These two have problems of their own and the movie follows their story as well.

I think Tamblin is very convincing in her part as a shy, confused teenage girl who may or may not have known she was pregnant. The movie could have become an after school special with a weaker plot and less talented actors, but with this cast and script, it manages to stay out of that cheesy moralistic territory. Piece by piece, the puzzle of the pregnancy and birth are revealed. What did she really know?

I liked the movie up until the very last five minutes. The ending was horribly unsatisfactory for both my husband and myself. I'm not disappointed with what Stephanie knew, just how the film dealt with this knowledge. It felt like the writer didn't know how to end the movie, so the story just ended where the writer blanked on a real conclusion. I hate when movies end so poorly because the ending is what sticks with you. The movie was fine otherwise, but I'll always be hung up on the ending when I think about this film.


I finally saw Milk in the theater, so look for its review in the coming days.